2.17.2012

The Black Girls Club - Original Inductees


(A/N - These are the original recruits from "the Black Girls Club" post.  The focus was on actresses in the 21st Century.)

Vivica A. Fox
Back in 2004, Fox (and she is a fox) stepped in to rescue the Canadian drama 1-800-Missing.  If she hadn't, that show would've gone missing a whole lot sooner.  But as the star and executive producer, she came in, took over, and refitted it from top to bottom until it was I-can't-believe-it's-Lifetime fabulous.  The audience watched her kick ass, date the hot Latino guy, look gorgeous in every episode, pretty much be the center of the show (and all the characters' attention), and whattaya know...it was gone after two seasons.  And I have this feeling that the only reason it lasted so long was due to divine Canadian intervention.

Gabrielle Union
Flash forward (yes, intended) to 2005.  Union was cast opposite Stuart Townsend in Night Stalker.  Not only did their chemistry threaten to melt the screen, the overall show was outstanding from beginning to its very premature end.  There was not one but three men who openly cared for Union on this show, so naturally, before the final eps of the first season could even be filmed, it got axed.

Tamara Taylor
Pop quiz, bar patrons: what do you get when you have a boss who can't really be a boss because we can't hurt her white employees' egos?  Tamara Taylor on Bones, silly!

In 2006, Taylor joined the cast as Dr. Camille why-did-they-even-bother Saroyan, and she's left me rubbing my temples ever since.  She's the boss who's rendered un-bossy.  The sexy black woman who's rendered sexless.

After all we can't have her outshining Dr. Brennan, now can we?

Freema Agyeman
In 2007, Agyeman wasted about a good year of her life as the infamous "rebound assistant" on Dr. Who.  Though the most beautiful and intelligent of all the companions, the writers hadn't the slightest idea what to do with her except treat her like shit.

Angel Coulby
Now let's move onto 2008.

I have talked about Coulby's "Guinevere" so damn much that she might as well have her own tag at the bar.  Seriously.  She's a braaaaave woman for portraying Guinevere, 'cause there's no end to her list of haters.  And they all hate to admit they're haters!

Coulby actually represents a luckier streak in the Black Girls Club; her show's been renewed for a fifth season.  But I've noticed that she appears less and less in episodes; in fact, in at least one, I noticed she was absent altogether.  *shakes head*  The Club Curse.

Rutina Wesley
Also reppin' 2008 is Wesley's character Tara in Tr-...you know what?  I can't.  I just...it's just...I-I just can't.

Lenora Crichlow
2008 really was the year of the vampire.  Crichlow's portrayal of ghost "Annie" (on the only version of Being Human that I will acknowledge) had me wondering why the only constant POC on the show had THE shittiest taste in men.  Annie's a ghost because her abusive fiance murders her and gets away with it.  She then tries to date a mentally unstable man who almost rapes her, but can't because - duh - she'a ghost.  Then she realizes she deserves better and needs to choose better, so she starts dating an extremely emo, mass-murdering vampire who makes you long for the sobering cynicism of Angel/Angelus...while he was still on Buffy.

Zoe Saldana
Ah, 2009.  A year that shall forever go down in infamy.

All these white girls who gush all over Saldana now ain't foolin' me.  A Black woman's memory never fades.  We're veterans, y'all; I personally fought in the Spock/Uhura Wars of 2009-2010, and when the new movie comes out in 2012/2013/whenever, and she starts smoochin' with Zach Quinto again, trust and believe the War of White Female Aggression will rage once more.

Gabrielle Union
No, bar patrons, you haven't had too much to drink and you're not randomly seeing double.  Like I said befo'...2009 was a year that will go down in infamy for Black women.  I done told y'all a Black woman's memory never fades.  You think I was just going to forget the epic fail that was the treatment of Zoey Andata in FlashForward?  She wasn't even a central character.  She was a recurring guest star engaged to the only Asian on the show, and she was still viewed as too much of a threat.

That was one show cancellation I didn't mourn.

Naomie Harris
Say it with me, kids: in-fa-my.

Thanksgiving, 2009 unleashed internationally worshiped Korean popstar Rain in his first big Hollywood flick.  It was a highly anticipated event of the year, and through it all, a Black woman was cast as his love interest - whom he conveniently didn't get to kiss, and the infamous shower scene he shared with her was filmed, but never shown to audiences.

And don't even get me started on how much the Blasian aspect of Ninja Assassin was flat-out ignored in media.

Amber Riley
Wow.  *rubs temples*  2009....

Riley deserved a big break.  Her voice is astonishing, and she is clearly gifted.  Yet ever since she stepped foot onto the set of Glee, it's like she been treated as though she were "less"...and less.  The overt preference for Lea Michele's inferior voice literally made me quit watching mid-season.

Katerina Graham
"In·fa·my
n. pl. in·fa·mies
1. Evil fame or reputation.
2. The condition of being infamous.
3. An evil or criminal act that is publicly known."

Black people, seriously, stay away from all these vampire shows.  When white folks start scribbling their otherworldly fantasies, you're not the intended audience.

So Graham portrays a "best friend" on The Vampire Diaries (2009, go figure).  The best friend?  Again?  Whose dude kisses another woman?  Seriously?  What's with Hollywood's fetish of having men be unfaithful to Black women?

Tiffany Hines
Does the phrase "RIP Jaden" ring any bells for you?  It does for me!  In 2010, Tiffany Hines co-starred in the Nikita reboot which handed her a half-assed characterization, a one-sided crush, and a bullet in the chest.

*nods*

Seriously?  2011 - seriously?  Really?  "Post-racial" this shit right here.


The name says it all.

Taraji P. Henson*
From the moment I learned about Henson and Person of Interest, I knew there was doomedage afoot...mainly because the first time I heard about her new show, TV Guide (do people even read that shit anymore?) was trying to pull a fast one.

Future Member

Kerry Washington
Washington better not get too comfy 'n' confident on her new show.  She better not kick off her shoes and unpack her bags just 'cause Miz Shonda Rhimes is runnin' shit.  She better recognize that Rhimes is tolerated only so long as she keeps us neck-deep in bony emo white chicks.  In Scandal (2011-2012), Washington is large and in charge, barking orders, talking shit to a white president, and being obeyed by white men and women (and most likely dating white men).

If this lasts beyond 2-3 episodes, it will be the result of direct divine intervention.

Final Thought

Notice, bar patrons, that all of this went down/is going during the 21st Century.  Not the 1990s, or the 1960s, or the 1930s, but the friggin' 21st Century.

*nods*  In Hollywhite, this bullshit is considered "progress".  This is considered "diversity." Right now, there are men and women clapping themselves on the back for this shit.

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Is it just me or does Taraji look very "1960s Uhuratastic" in this pic?

8 comments:

  1. Like I said, I'd rather for mofos to be honest than try and placate us with this bullshit. But as you often say, it ain't about us.

    Tamara Taylor's character was effectively gutted day one--why she even bothered staying on is beyond me. Cos no chick I know who's supposed to the be boss would put up with that shit. I watched Bones up through Season 4, and she had to constantly remind everyone that she was the boss. Because we wouldn't know otherwise, y'understand.

    And Jaden on Nikita? I'm no longer watching Nikita on principle, cos what happened to her was straight bullshit. They didn't know what to do with the character; as I'm always lamenting, I'd rather they didn't bother casting us if this is what's going to happen. Be honest with your shit; I can respect it if I know where I stand with you.

    I won't watch any of these other shows. I'd rather watch a horde of ants attack a dying animal.

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  2. Okay, even after nearly three years, the missing shower scene in Ninja Assassin still pisses me off.

    And Star Trek next summer? Things are going to get ugly. Unless of course Orci & Co. bow down to pressure from the racist horde of fangirls and break Spock and Uhura up. That would be foolish on their part though. The main reason that movie made so much money was from multiple viewings. And guess who a big chunk of those multiple viewings came from? And why did a lot of us go see it two or more times? Mm hm. If they break them up, word will spread at the speed of a mouse click and I'll bet their box office take will plummet faster than a sinking stone. At the very least, it'll be nowhere near as ginormous as it was in 2009.

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    Replies
    1. Orci & Kurtzmann repeatedly made it clear the S/U relationship was going to continue. The success of 2009 only fueled their determination, and I lauded them for it.

      All I want to know how the shower scene went "missing." I mean...it was filmed, so why is it "missing", know what I mean? Why isn't it an extra on DVD or blu-ray somewhere?

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    2. I wonder if there is a way for us to petition for the shower scene to be released. Like for an anniversary edition or something.

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    3. Honey, I have a feeling it's been lost or some other dumb shit like that.

      What I wouldn't give to see it though.....

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    4. @Ankh

      That scene is in a vault somewhere gathering dust. They didn't put it on there because they didn't want to. I think the bigger question is...why didn't they want to? Although, really...I think we all know why. *side eye to Joel Silver...again*

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  3. as for Lenora Crichlow, in the last season of Being Human (the last season with the first vampire/wolf/ghost trio) I think her character did great. Not only she was the last one of the main character to die (they all had to die for the plot but she was the last one and she had to stars with the new cast as main character again and that says a lot), but she got the better death. She dies being badass and protecting everyone, she died saving the world if you follow the storyline. Now, I think you're right for all the actress there but yeah, her character stayed pretty strong and all through the seasons so I don't think she really deserved her seat in the Black Girls Club for her role in Being Human.

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