She's Got to Be Mixed with Something...

I was over on YouTube stalking checking out the natural hair videos and couldn't resist clicking on a Monsieur Nov video.  Now, I really should have known better, but I couldn't help taking a quick peek at the comments and...well...let's just say that I shouldn't have.  Surprisingly, there were only a few that made me do a double-take, but believe me, they were more than enough. 

In the video for his song "Trop Fresh", Monsieur Nov croons to a drop-dead gorgeous woman in that soulful, sexy voice that never fails to send shivers down my spine.  The passion and chemistry between these two stunning people fairly oozes off the screen and there is absolutely no mistaking that want each other something fierce. 

Naturally, cue the instantaneous, seemingly irresistible urge for someone to assert with all the authority of a professional geneticist that the woman can't be black, isn't black or must be mixed with something.  Or better yet, she's just really, really tan.


Okay, first, that's my new favorite song.  And second...lawd!


Now that I've gotten that out of my system, here are the comments that made me roll my eyes so hard I think I might have actually seen my brain.  Please keep in mind that all of the these comments were made by the same person over the span of a few months. 

I tan exactly like them, you are the one that is wrong. I am just trying to correct you because it's important for people to know that there is another race that exists that people mistake to be related to the people born with black skin. This woman was not born brown. Both of them are related to Navi Rawat.
1 day ago         
Actually I deleted my comment and I am related to both of them and I have met both of them in person. I have tanned darker with them too.
1 day ago         
You know, that woman is Asian. She's only tan.
This man, tans JUST like her.

Um...isn't Monseiur Nov of East Asian descent?  But I digress...

According to the commenter, it's perfectly natural that Monsieur Nov would portray this particular woman as his love interest because they're the same.  They're both Asian, so it's perfectly okay for him to be attracted to her.  So...what?  A black woman wouldn't be okay?

Now, I've never made it a habit of worrying about every little comment that's made on the 'Net because I value my sanity and good health.  But in some instances, I can't stay silent.  And in this case, let's be honest here:  This has nothing to do with whether this particular model in this particular video is black or not.  Not really.  It's really all about denying and negating black beauty, black worth and the fact that we deserve to be loved and cherished just like anyone else.

It's the almost insatiable need to downplay our appeal, undervalue our femininity and marginalize our very existence.  And the fact that the commenter felt such a burning desire to return to this video time and time again to repeat the same thing over and over again, tells me far more than the actual words ever will.


  1. First off, thanks to cinnamon for turning me on this video. It has been in heavy rotation since I heard it. Monsieur Nov is definitely a sight to see and his voice is like honey to my ears. But let me get back on point.

    The obvious and apparent reason for this reply is to touch on the blatant ignorance and cluelessness of one frequent individual who felt it necessary to comment, repeatedly about the fact that the beautiful young woman in the video could be anything but black. As a brown black woman, even I am able to tan, but to see someone as bright as Monsieur Nov then claim that anyone could tan to the complexion of his love interest naturally is absurd to say the least. Anyone with an ounce of sense can see that the melanin brown coloring of her skin is her natural hue. Why is it that the person who leaves these comments has to insinuate that we must mixed with something to have long straight hair, or "european" features. The person who finds it necessary to come back repeatedly to pronounce that the woman in the video and the singer himself are the same is obviously delusional. She/he has some issues that we are not capable of fixing.

    Frankly I am overjoyed to see that he at least recognizes the sheer awesome beauty of the black woman.

  2. Okay, so before I dive fully in, is the lady with the headphones the one that they say can't be really black? The dark-skinned lady who is the same color as me?

    But you know, they have that reaction whenever they think a black lady is tan. One of my friends, Detroit born and raised, had to recently deal with white lady who decided to tell her that she was beautiful and then who then proceeded to brow beat her about where she was "really from", and was not satisfied with that the answer was "west side of Detroit" and kept asking the same damn question as if the answer would change. My friend isn't light skinned (lighter than me but not light), and has really nice natural hair (but it is not wavy or curly in the least).

    But this lady would not let it drop...she just had to more or less run away. And I'm sure that white lady went home talking about the exotic black girl who wouldn't admit where she was really from.

    They irk me with this idea that we look one way. But they cannot dissect our features for crap. Have you noticed that?

    But they like to claim that anything attractive or enviable in us has to be a product of their genetics.

    Funny, since they tend to have amnesia about how much their ancestors were up in our beds historically speaking.

  3. This woman is straight chocolate and that miserable, needs-to-kill-itself troll is worthless hater.

    I remember when I first read those comments months ago. I also rolled my eyes and went back to enjoying the goddamn video.

    There's a reason why Asian artists who do videos like this one deliberately choose dark sistahs - they want the contrast. They want there to be No Mistake Whatsoever.

    She's Black, he's Chinese, they're in bed together. Guess who's not invited?

    1. She's Black, he's Chinese, they're in bed together. Guess who's not invited?

      Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!! Classic.

    2. I guess the other women in Monsieur Nov's videos are very tanned Asians, too. Uh huh. Ok.

      S/he needs to go drink a tall glass of bleach, since it's life/death important to prove that the woman of interest isn't black in the least when, love to break it to them, she is.

      "Actually I deleted my comment and I am related to both of them and I have met both of them in person. I have tanned darker with them too." <- Make that TWO tall glasses of bleach.

    3. The whole "related" comment didn't make any sense to me. Like...WTF? Is she implying that the above video is somehow incestuous or something?

      That woman is sooooooooooo Black. So obviously Black.

    4. @Ankh

      The only thing I can think is that she means related literally or by ethnicity. That way, her claims that the woman just tans really darkly--like she magically all of a sudden does--are legitimized. *rolls eyes* Lord, these people sure know how to spin some yarn, don't they?

    5. And it took him/her, what, two months to come up with that? First the woman isn't black, now s/he, Nov and commenter are kin-folk and have crossed paths. Uh..........huh.

      Whatever helps their fevered soul rest at night.

  4. Its amazing to see the lengths people will go to to erase someone's blackness. This is common with any youtube video with a gorgeous black woman, no matter how dark or light. And if she's with a non-black man, you can really forget it! The trolls come out in droves.

  5. I think this goes back to a phenomenon I've seen from too many white folks all too often. The phenomenon of they will grudgingly accept that the person is a person of color, as long as they are not one of those horrid icky nigrahs! Because that's the worst thing ever. Or if you must be one of those Nigrahs, AT LEAST have the decency to dilute yourself with something else because white folks have to have a chaser when dealing with us.

    And sadly I get this shit all the time both online and in person. Apparently I have a very "exotic" look and it utterly skull-fucks people when I tell them I'm black. I have a profile on an online dating site and under the ethnicity, I identify as black. I can't tell you how many times my page has been flooded with emails where people constantly bug me and just have to know what breed of mix I am. Even though it says black folks just still have to know. Sometimes (in those rare cases where I might have a fuck to give) I might explain, yes I do have Cherokee ancestry which I'm proud of but I am black, I identify as black, both of my parents are black, on a Census I will answer black, people still don't believe me.

    And when they finally do, they wanna act stank like I tricked them. And don't even get me started on the number of times I've been told by white folks how they find me so attractive and they are never into black guys so I should take that as a huge compliment.

    Case in point re the ass-waving:



  6. And don't even get me started on the number of times I've been told by white folks how they find me so attractive and they are never into black guys so I should take that as a huge compliment.

    Neo please don't get me started on this bullshit. There was a discussion on Facebook about this. This one black woman I follow actually posted screen caps of some of the things white men have said to her while on OkCupid. Its the same 'ol, I'm-not-really-into-black-women-but-you're-the-exception. nonsense they spew. One guy said on his page that he wasn't open to interrscial relationships, yet kept rolling up in her private messages talking about how sexy and beautiful she was.

    Or you get the ones who claim they are so into black women, and love black women(love sleeping with us) yet have pictures of their white ex-wives and kids posted up. On her profile she put: I'm a two black parent black woman! (It was a part of an experiment she did) and they still came flocking asking her is she was sure she was really black. lmao

    1. Yes, I think a LOT of them get that. I've gotten that message too, and yes, on the sites where people can list racial preference, from people who did the everything but Black list.

      Why do racist white people think that you are flattered that they would lower themselves to touch you? B/c you aren't as "grotesque" as the others?

      What is wrong with them? Seriously.

      They are in such deep denial about our genetic diversity and their pathological need to paint us as being inferior. So you can only have good traits if you are sufficiently mixed with something that stamps out your blackness.

    2. I've also had the people who list everything but black (and middle eastern) on their profiles as their type contact me even though my profile and my afro clearly say I' black.

    3. I'm not ambiguous looking or light skinned. I mean, you don't have to be anything other than light for white people to start trying to insist that you are barely black but I'm dark skinned and also have natural hair, so for the people who say they don't like black women or only like "mixed" (their favorite euphemism for light), I don't even BEGIN to pass muster.

      I think they also feel comfortable trying to send sexual messages to us that I'm sure don't get sent to women of other races. Yes, black women are so easy that you can send a vulgar message and she'll meet you someplace.

      And seriously, what do white men think that they have that we want. Black women don't chase them. We have never chased them. Black women see them as the last resort when all else has failed. So why act as though it is so easy to catch one of us?

    4. I've seen those 'Everything-but-black-women" profiles. Yet, when black women put our preferences, let's say MOC exclusively, white men roll up in your private massages asking you why you don't date white guys. It's acceptable for them to reject us, but god forbid if you're a black woman who doesn't want them.

    5. Oh, you mean the obnoxious "So what, you only date the brothas" kind of messages?
      They are really obsessed/jealous of the idea that their junk is really small compared to black men too. That's another favorite that they think they have the right to ask.

  7. Or if you must be one of those Nigrahs, AT LEAST have the decency to dilute yourself with something else because white folks have to have a chaser when dealing with us.

    *hands Neo two internets and throws $200 on the table. turns around and strolls out, because there ain't nothin' more to be said heah*


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