Just 'Tween Us Girls: The Sexpiration Date

Over At the Bar, I brought up the topic of the "Sexpiration Date", which I define as the sort of unspoken countdown to when two people are going to have sex.  It begins from the moment they decide to go out on non-platonic date.  So far, the discussion is going well, but I also wanted to open a thread up here because I felt this a serious topic for women, especially us Negresses.

Like some of you, I tend to approach the Sexpiration Date from a more practical stance.  It has nothing to do with romantic aspirations or religious concerns.  It's about the fact that I'm getting older, my priorities have drastically shifted, and since in the not-too-near future I'm pretty sure I'm going to start dipping my feet in the Houston dating pool again, I want to weed out the worthless men in record time.

So I'm setting some standards for myself to save time and trouble.  The first is one of the last things I mentioned At the Bar: if I don't love you, we won't sleep together.  Period.

I suspect some men will find that unfair or intimidating or naive or whatever, but regardless of how they react, the standard remains.  The reason I'm implementing this standard is that it only invites the men with A-Game.  You either have it or you don't; you'll either bring it or you won't.  As I mentioned at the Bar, the chant across the interwebs is that chivalry is dead, and that women supposedly killed it.  I agree with the former, but not the latter.

Chivalry died because men got lazier and more selfish.  Instead of talking to you face to face or even over the phone, they started emailing, then texting.  Instead of walking to your door with some flowers or a bottle of wine, they started honking for you from their cars.  Then, instead of asking you out on real dates, they started asking you to hop into your car, and waste your gas just to "come over and chill."

Instead of working to gain your trust, respect, and affection, they looked for shortest of the shortcuts to get you into bed.  Hence the Sexpiration Date.

Sex is a biological function like eating or sleeping, but unlike those two functions it's a privilege, not a right.  In traditional societies were dowries and bride-prices still hold sway, the principle that you have to earn your sexual privilege has some very practical logic behind it.  If you can't/won't do shit, you ain't gettin' shit 'cause you haven't deserved shit.

So it's knees together and eyes peeled for me, and I feel oddly energized by it.


  1. Once women (like us) know this for sure, it makes dealing with the bullshit a lot easier. While it might be nice to have a FWB, the ground rules have to be established on what that is (see earlier post regarding Roomie & one of her potential beaus; can't remember the title), and both parties should agree. But if a true relationship is what you seek, sex should be taken out of the equation quick fast and in a hurry.

    And watch mofos with B, C & F game run like cockroaches when the lights come on.

    1. Ironically, men ought to feel relieved once a woman takes sex of the (near future) menu. We all know how women react to a bad experience in the sack, and since the average man can't blow your mind, delayed gratification buys them the necessary to time to make a good impression.

  2. This:

    ...the average man can't blow your mind...

    sounds like a song or an epic-ass poem.


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