I'm having a very educational time watching the vlogs of our transsisters.When Kitty here talks about the excuse men give transwomen ("I want to have my own kids some day, so we can't be together.") my flesh crawled. It made me think of all those other excuses men come up with to avoid being with various women, but not looking bad in the process.
Talk about some bullshit. Transfolk can have kids just as much as anyone else. If this guy is worried about having bio kids they can get a surrogate mother or something. I know this is an excuse but I just don't understand this need to have bio kids. What's wrong with adopting kids or getting kids out of foster care? Esp if they share the same racial background. There are a lot of black kids in SF and that city is so fucking white. We need to take responsibility for the kids already in the system.
Personally a man shouldn't even have to say this shit to a transwoman. A transwoman already knows who she is. It feels like a guy would only say this to make a transwoman feel shit about herself. Like lording this ciswoman ability, that not even all ciswomen are capable of, over them as if to say "you can't have this dick cause you can't give this dick babies." Just fuck them. I hate how guys try to insult other women to "compliment" women. Like that shit aint cute. It's oppressive as fuck. Like saying someone is less valuable than me b/c she's had kids, b/c she's a sex worker, b/c she's bigger than me, etc. That isn't a compliment. That's my fellow sister and you should never compare me to someone else. You should appreciate who I am as an absolute.
That isn't a compliment. That's my fellow sister and you should never compare me to someone else. You should appreciate who I am as an absolute.Well said. Well friggin' said.
It feels like a guy would only say this to make a transwoman feel shit about herself.And that's the point. Give the woman an excuse which conveniently absolves a man from any obligation beyond sex, while making the woman feel like shit, like a failure even.When I first watched the video and she brought up the excuse, I immediately thought of the "Culture Excuse" discussed on Blasian Narrative. We see these type excuses crop up everywhere, along all the limes - you're too trans, too Black, you're the same sex, and if only you'd been born a member of the opposite sex, my family would accept you.In other words...the fact that I just want to use you for sex is your fault. You didn't measure up, you failed, and you need to make it up to me by having sex with me without expecting anything in return.It was after seeing this video that I realized just how dangerous and despicable these excuses really are. I used to think they were just annoying, but now I see they're part of that toxic mentality which Amaya discussed in her post.
*along all the lines
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