|If I wanted a dude that |
badly, it would be done.
So...I'm talking to a relative who remarks in passing that another relative of ours wonders why I talk so much about work and writing and never men.
Being the diplomat that I am, I kept the conversation light, but in the back of my mind I was like, "WTF???"
Um...I am Ankhesen Mié.
I finished graduate school at 26, where I one of 10-15 students accepted out of hundreds. By day, I work at an insurance company where, once again, I was one of 15 chosen out of over 600-800 applicants. By night, I write and moderate for six blogs - four of which I founded alone, two of which have had over a million views each. I have published several books.
I have kept my knees together and don't have any kids I can't afford; I've never been in an abusive relationship, and I've never let man threaten my job, my money, my home, or my schooling. So for someone to overlook all that and wonder instead why I'm not boo'd up is the ultimate insult. Last I checked, this is 2013.
Granted, the people who typically try to steer the focus back onto men (or women, since I'm often presumed a lesbian), are often single themselves, and have neither my education nor my accomplishments. And unlike me, most of them look back at their major life decisions with regret; I don't. That all being said, it's still exceedingly irritating that women are still focusing on this in 2013.
For the woman raising her kids alone and cursing the man or men who didn't stick around, this is the type of thinking which got her in that mess.
For the woman clinging to some man who is the living definition of "deadbeat", this this is the type of thinking which got her - and keeps her - in that mess.
For the older woman looking back on her life wondering why her career didn't go further despite the opportunities which came her way, or why she didn't invest more time and energy into herself, or why she didn't strike out on her own sooner and enjoy her freedom longer, this is the type of thinking which caused her to waste precious decades of her life.
I am Ankhesen Mié. I have things to do. I did the dating scene, the party scene, the bar scene...I've loved a man here and lusted after another there; I've lain in the big strong arms of a well-built man, I have gotten gifts, been flattered, been adored, been bought drinks, taken to dinner, taken to shows, and even been bickered over, and I have found that none of that compares to when I publish a book and a fan gushes to me in an email, on Facebook, or on the blogosphere.
My gods, women...we need to get our shit together. We can't have it both ways. We can't keep complaining about the oppressiveness of men one minute, while bending over and handing them our ovaries the next.