|I ain't got to do shit.|
By now, you've heard of Gabourey's famous tweet to her haters, and while I loved how she handled it, I noticed that the fat police came out in full condescension mode, talking about how even though it's great she fired back, she still needs to take better care of her health.
This isn't about health. This isn't even about size. It's about a control. It's about leaping at the first opportunity to tell someone else - namely a woman, and especially a woman of color - what she "needs to do" with her own body.
Full disclosure: I am pro-thickness. I am thick. I love being thick. I love shopping for jeans at Lane Bryant (random, I know, but true). And I do weep (seriously weep) when a fabulous woman loses her thickness to appease the Powers that Be in Hollywood, or because some man made her feel bad about herself.
But you know what? It's not my body. This isn't about what I think another woman needs to do with her body. I should be concentrating on my own damn body. I know what it's like to be pulled in two different directions, having women tell me to slim down and having (usually traditional African) men telling me to stay exactly as I am. The annoying part is not what people are saying, but the fact they think they should be saying it in the first place.
We all have the right to choose, and yes, some of us will choose fat. Regardless of what we choose, it's our choice.
My mom and I were lamenting that a certain relative of ours was using drugs. Said relative had some parasitic tendencies, and was getting on everybody's nerves. My eldest sister said something which I was appalled by at first, but is starting to make sense a couple of years later.
She said, "So what if she's snorting coke? Not that I even know that's what she's doing, but so what? She's a grown woman who can make her own choices. So long as she's doing that shit in her own house and using up her own money, so what?"
That really bugged me, but now...after seeing some (probably) broke white boy on Facebook refer to Gabourey as a "fat turd", all I can think is..."So what if she's big? So what if her health is in danger? That's her choice do with her body whatever she wants."
If you don't agree with it, then take care of your health. Make sure you don't get too big. Focus on you. Don't wuss out and focus on someone else simply because it's so much more convenient to try to fix someone else.
This world ain't perfect, and sometimes we'll see things we wish we could change. But not everything's up to us, and that's sort of the point.