3.06.2014

Mirror, Mirror

See Also

Wall of the Male Self
See, the thing about female sexuality is.....
Women Need to Have More Solidarity in the Economics of Sex

Market economists do note that women working together will raise the “market value” of sex. Meaning: many men will do more toward what women desire in order to be with them. Yet, men do not. And this is because women, instead of being united, have become each other’s competition. So, what standard can a man expect when they differ among women?

Let us create a scenario, if you will. A man has a choice between dating Tiffany (the one with more standards) and Tammy (the one with lower standards). If he is a man looking to have fun, then he will get with Tammy. Why? Because Tammy is the easier of the choices. And many men are as faithful/dedicated as their choices.
(Source)
The above is an excerpt of from "Economics of Sex Teaches Us Five Lessons". That last statement in bold is a paraphrase of the infamous Chris Rock quote that "a man is basically as faithful as his options".

What bothers me the most about the overall standpoint of the piece is that it places the burden of male improvement upon women. So not only are we, by implied definition, held responsible for the misbehavior of men, but billions of straight and bisexual women around the world are also supposed to have some magical conference.  We are then expect to hammer out a list of what we want from men, unanimously agree on said list, and then enforce our terms as defined by "the treaty".

Ever notice that when something goes wrong in male-female relationships, it's automatically the women's fault?  If we're raped, it's because we were being teases.  If we're beaten, it's because we were being pushovers.  If we're cheated on, it's because we were too frigid or inattentive or not affectionate enough.  And if chivalry is dead, it's because women killed it.

Can't catch a break nowhere.

Keep in mind that sexism is perhaps the oldest of the "-isms".  Long before we were color-coding folks or rigidly enforcing a socioeconomic hierarchy, women were very well likely humanity's first disposable population.

Per the above example, Tiffany has higher standards than Tammy.  Well...how did Tammy grow up?  Did she grow to adulthood without ever witnessing a healthy, functional couple?  Was there abuse or neglect, perhaps?  Was poverty an issue?  Does Tammy have low self-esteem?  And for these men who are choosing the Tammys of the world, are they equipped to handle the issues which often accompany women with low standards?  Are they ready to be dumped when those same women finally decide to raise their standards?

'Cause when it looks too good (and seems too easy) to be true, it always is.
...The Economics of Sex has affected the Contemporary Man

Let us just put it out there: many men don’t hold themselves to a high standard on the dating scene. The problem is that they don’t have to. If you are a man that knows you will get women regardless of how successful or slovenly you are, then you are going to be apt to applying yourself only when necessary. This says a lot. Consequently, many men have become lax because they can get away with it.

Just goes to show you that people do certain things because they can.

Women Must Uphold Standards in the Economics of Sex

In the end, women need to make sure they are upholding the standards of how relationships go. The problem with this is that there are more women than men. This gives men the advantage of “choice/viable options”. Yet, men will only do what is allowed. Once women set a standard (as a whole), then there is no choice but to follow suit.
Behold male privilege in all its hideous glory.

Over on the Blasian Narrative, Narrator Kon coincidentally penned a brief, beautiful piece entitled "Singleness", explaining why singlehood is to embraced as time of self-improvement.  Notice that not once does he mention which gender needs to improve what; his focus is on how people need to take the time out to improve themselves, and that society needs to take away the incessant, destructive pressure to date and marry.

Naturally, Kon's perspective is the more enlightened one because he places responsibility where it belongs: on the individuals who need to motivate themselves to be better people, and on society as a whole for allowing people the time and space to develop into better people.  I've always hated that part of [insert romantic comedy/drama here] where the man says to the woman, "You make me want to be a better man."  Uh...noHe needs to want to be a better man all on his own.  He needs to wake up everyday at a reasonable hour, look at himself in the mirror and encourage himself to do better.  He needs to challenge, and push, and inspire himself for his own good.

Furthermore, the universe has ways of maintaining order.  Mother Nature may tend to breed more women than men, but she also tends to breed a lot of lesbians, bisexual women who prefer women, women who are altogether asexual, and straight women who are more than willing to switch teams when they lose all respect for men.  Mother Nature also creates females who are born female, but are destined to become male.  So all these cissexual, heterosexual men patting themselves on the back and thinking they've got plenty of "time" and "options" are really just deluding themselves.

'Cause Chris Rock's joke may have been popular for a while, but Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" is immortal for a reason.

2 comments:

  1. "If you are a man that knows you will get women regardless of how successful or slovenly you are, then you are going to be apt to applying yourself only when necessary."

    Of course a systemic problem is blamed on women. Men who think they're entitled to a woman no matter do so because their culture encourages them to, tells them they can get away with it (if the woman is of the right social status relative to him anyway), and blames bad results on the women for not navigating the situation well enough. As if it was a hurricane, a natural fact of life instead of what men (and sometimes women, but this is about male behavior) reinforce and put back into their culture.

    -LittleRaven

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow - I'm late to this response. It's funny how black men will get up in arms with white folks who say black people need to elect a spokesperson and basically be a monolith.

      But when the issue switches from race to gender, suddenly it's "Women need to get together and figure out a unanimous set of criteria of what they want in men."

      Delete

This blog is strictly moderated. Everyone is now able to comment again, however, all Anonymous posts will be immediately deleted. Comments on posts more than 30 days old are generally dismissed, so try to stay current with the conversations.