One last time: we don't give a fuck about you and your white girlfriend

(h/t Rachel)

Why do I date white women? Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout. The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women. White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven. These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered. Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America.

Most people have it wrong. I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person. I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved.
Thus begins an essay which had me thinking I'd somehow stepped back into the 1990s and was watching some low-budget, after-school PSA about the need to be colorblind.

Like...we don't care, goddamnit.  Exactly what is it going to take for people to grasp this? I mean, white guys may still care because they're pathologically obsessed with black dick, but black women don't care nearly as much as black men like this one insist we do. Hell...read the comments. No one gives a shit about the interracial dating aspect of the essay - they're all arguing about OJ!!!!

The black man/white woman drama thing is so 20th Century.  To be utterly honest with you all, I seriously think stuff like this is just trolling at this point.  The writer himself mentions wanting to piss white men off and even goes so far as to quote Elliot Rodger bemoaning how a black dude could get a white girl (seriously, is it just me or is that THE most quoted part of that manifesto????).

I don't give a shit that some random crazy woman off the street (and out of an anecdote) criticized this dude for dating a white women when she herself allegedly couldn't get a man.  Why is it that every time we read essays like these, they always include a - quite possibly fictional - angry black woman who's always conveniently/coincidentally single?  (And from hereon out, watch Elliot Rodger continue to be quoted in essays like these.  Just watch, 'cause we already know there are a lot of black men out there who read that ish with pride.)

Inquiry: How come these black men never talk about that time they were out with their white girlfriend, and ran into a white guy and his black girlfriend/wife?  Or about the time they ran into a black woman and her Asian boyfriend/husband?  Or her Latino boyfriend/husband?  Or that time they ran into a sistah...with another sistah???

Sure...these men will end an essay with some weak sentiment about how we all need to get along and love one another, but by the way they write these essays, you'd think black men and white women were the only two groups dating and marrying interracially in America!  Like they've got a patent on that shit!

For fuck's sake:
Most Americans say they approve of interracial dating. Even though a majority of whites approve, they are somewhat less likely to approve of interracial dating than are blacks or Hispanics. Interracial and interethnic dating is not uncommon in the United States, according to self-reports in the survey. Slightly less than half of Americans say they have dated someone from a different racial or ethnic background, with Hispanics more likely than whites or blacks to say this. Younger Americans are much more likely to approve of interracial dating and to have dated someone from a different racial or ethnic background.

Gallup's annual Minority Rights and Relations poll delved into the topic of interracial dating to see whether Americans approve or disapprove of whites and blacks dating. One half of the sample, which included larger numbers of blacks and Hispanics than in a typical poll, was asked about a black man dating a white woman. The other half was asked about a white man dating a black woman. The poll finds 75% of Americans approving of a white man dating a black woman, and 71% approving of a black man dating a white woman. The difference is not statistically significant.
Believe me...the stats just keep getting more interesting in that article.

Moral of the story?  It's 2014; nobody cares.  Like, nobody gives a shit.  Nobody gives a flying fuck.

*drops mic*

What did I just say?  See Also

Nobody Cares That You Date White Girls


  1. Case in point. I run, well, too many blogs at this point and THIS is the type filling my inbox on a daily basis...not black women bitching about black men with white women. How come the bruhs never write about this ish right here?

    1. The "BITCH PLEASE" meme had me crying. ROTFL!

      The bruhs like the aforementioned one wouldn't want to acknowledge the fact that Asian men are undeniably attractive; the secret is out and they don't like to believe that there is some real competition out there.

      And yeah, that whole bit about being raised by mothers who are as vicious as snake-wrapped tigers? True.

  2. And yeah; I give absolutely NEGATIVE FUCKS about bruhs with WW.

    1. Yep! Most of the only ones I observe just glance for a sec and just move on.

  3. I do find it interesting that these articles will have the "mean Black woman" who sucks her teeth, gives side eye or just runs up and blasts the happy couple as she laments her own lack of relationship.....I just have never seen it.....I have not seen Black women give too much concern to who others are dating....what I have seen are Black men making a spectacle of themselves with their white girlfriends/wives and wanting attention.....or Black men lose their nut when a Black woman is dating or otherwise taken by a man of another color (in particular South East Asian or Latino)......

    1. I do find it interesting that these articles will have the "mean Black woman" who sucks her teeth, gives side eye or just runs up and blasts the happy couple as she laments her own lack of relationship.....I just have never seen it

      For real. These essays all follow the same format.

      1) Bring up a topic no one's discussing.
      2) Fend off an attack no one's issuing.
      3) Share a biography that nobody's interested in.
      4) Talk about "that one random time with that one black woman" whom no one believes even exists.
      5) Offer a lame-ass, not-so-colorblind opinion nobody asked for.

  4. I had a friend (who is married to a white woman with two kids) take me to lunch a few weeks back. We got to talking and I mentioned I dated a lot of South East Asian men. The look on his face. He asked why. I was perplexed. I never asked him why he married a white women, even when he dumped me to do so. He seemed generally disturbed that I would date "that kind of man" (his words). I told him that I date those who are interested in me and that in the area I live (RDU) that happens to be (more often then not) South East Asian men and Latino men......He still seemed very confused by or unwilling to accept my answer..... So I find this color blind dating BS just that BS. I have gotten too many Black men who (when I am alone) wouldn't even give me a friendly smile but when I am with a man of another color they suddenly want to talk to me.....to tell me something of great importance that they couldn't think of the several other times they saw me alone......hmmmmm....

    1. "That kind of man?" I would have put his ass on blast and made him define that.

      And if he was disturbed (which I believe), that just proves my point about bruhs who want to step out but selfishly wanna keep sistahs to themselves. A lot of them feel that way, like, "Even though I'm dating a white woman, why am I not enough for YOU?"

      Bitch please. His BS is BS is BS. And we're not here for it.

    2. "Even though I'm dating a white woman, why am I not enough for YOU?"

      Question asked, question answered.

    3. "... that just proves my point about bruhs who want to step out but selfishly wanna keep sistahs to themselves."

      Yup. We're the back-ups. We're supposed to sit there nice and pining until they deign to pay us attention.

    4. THIS. I remember dancing with my girlfriends, no black men approaching me. Well then some white guy asked me to dance. He danced well and was really flirty. After 5 songs I black guy cut in. These fools were not checking for me until they saw a non black man was interested.

    5. @modest-goddess-These fools were not checking for me until they saw a non black man was interested.

      Its amazing isn't it? They have no problem with you sitting there all night alone. Will be vocal about not wanting you, BUT the minute a non black man steps up. All of a sudden poof there they are and how you are a sell out.

    6. True. Just look at what happened to poor Eve when she married a White billionaire (some say multimillionaire..idk. I guess the world just didn't think that a Black woman like her could draw a man like him). She got cursed out by some Black men from all over the world..Wow! I guess it would have made her critics happy if she would have a ratchet life and for her to marry a deadbeat like Stevie J.SMH

    7. Wait. Eve married a white billionaire? I didn't know this.

      If that's the case, she and Janet need to teach a how-to class.

      And if I were her, I wouldn't even be able to hear the hate because of all the money stuffed in my ears on my private island off the coast of some remote location...so mofos can stay mad.

    8. Amaya...get this; he's a Brit named Maximillion.

      And though he's not a billionaire now, it's estimated that at the rate he's going, he will achieve that level within this lifetime.

    9. @M-I guess it would have made her critics happy if she would have a ratchet life and for her to marry a deadbeat like Stevie J.SMH

      First of all, that deadbeat wouldn't have married her and no THEN they would be telling her how stupid she is for being with a deadbeat. She was damned if she do and damned if she don't.

      @Amaya-And if I were her, I wouldn't even be able to hear the hate because of all the money stuffed in my ears on my private island off the coast of some remote location...so mofos can stay mad.

      I'm sure Eve doesn't bother with what these idiots are saying. I know I wouldn't be.

  5. When the Loving fought for their right to be together, the last thing that was on their mind was "penis" thinking. Now, for some guys like him, its about competition and not dealing with reality. Frankly,his frame of thought is becoming quite comical. Only a man who evolves his relationship around penis size is an insecure one .

    I'm around mixed couples.. including BM/WW. So what? I guess he want to feel powerful by having bringing this negative point up like that.

  6. Did this guy missed the memo? No, we're not angry over his IR. If he wants to date nonblack women, please don't include us in your diatribe or to justify his exclusive relationships with White women.
    I wish he didn't write that ridiculous article period.


  7. Co-sign!! BM/WW couples aren't that big of a deal. I note in NYC that those couples try to go out of their way to rub it in a Black woman's face. It becomes the worst when it's clear you don't give a fuck.

    I was coming home from work and it was SantaCon. For those who don't know, Santa Con is when people dress up like Santa or Elves around mid-December and get stupid drunk. It's so bad that the city considered banning it. Anyway, a Black man and his White girlfriend got on my train car and it was clear homeboy was lit. The car was 80% empty. The girlfriend drags her man, who can barely stand, over and sits so close to me on a mostly empty train that she was basically in my lap. As I turn to tell this young woman that while I work for Santa, I'm not him and I'm off the clock so get off me, she gets a smirk as if she wanted me to day something.

    Karma is good though. Before I could open my mouth, her boyfriend pukes all over her ( and almost on my shoes). Then as I move to another car, this chick has the nerve to yell after me "Come back, it's just vomit!!".

    To think she would go so far to try and irritate me that caring for her drunk and sick boyfriend took a backseat. And she made it so obvious that she was as sober as a judge. It was so obvious t that another passenger said "Good job dodging the vomit. But why was she on you? The train was mad empty."

    Just another night in NYC.

  8. Here's another thing.

    When you run as many sites as I do, and try to research at least 90% of the stuff people send you, you stumble across some interesting things.

    For example, on my YouTube channel, some white chick with the handle "MsVanillaSugar" was trying to comment on one of my "Unbowed" videos about how most Native American men go for white women and how she was "sorry, but black women are still the least desirable", etc.

    Then, on all those damn KPop vids readers insist upon sending us at the Narrative, commenters will talk some bullshit about how "Well, what if we white girls decide we want the Asian men too?"

    Meanwhile, I'm like..."Have at it."

    Let me let y'all in on a personal secret: one reason the BM/WW thing never bugged me so much was that all it did was help breed more brown children. And right now, Asians already make up 60% of the human population. White girls want to help kick that up to 70% or 80%? I say...have at it!!!!

    Native Americans are already one of the fastest growing populations in this country. White girls want to help speed up their population growth so they can reclaim all this shit - I say, have at it!

    Comedian David So once cracked a joke about how whenever he meets a racist person he wants to tell them, "I'mma have a kid and raise that kid to fuck yo kid. I'mma have yo front po'ch lookin' like the damn United Nations."

    For real...white folks are shakin' in their boots right now about children of color outnumbering white kids. Yeah...white girls had a pretty big hand in that, boo. So I say...have at it!

    By all means, breed more Russell Wongs and Avan Jogias and Barack Obamas. They turned out okay. I ain't havin' no babies, so you go right on ahead and take that hit for the team, boo-boo. Have right at it.

    It's not the coupling which offends, it's the disrespect that is then shown to the rest of us. Asian men complain a lot about this too (see the "humor" of Esther Ku, for example). It's that inability to keep "us" out their mouths which causes conflict. It's the trolling, whether online (like the essay) or in person, like Lifecoaster's experience. It's that desire to create the illusion/fantasy/drama of a "forbidden love", cuz chances are, they don't have much else to hold them together.

    1. "For real...white folks are shakin' in their boots right now about children of color outnumbering white kids. Yeah...white girls had a pretty big hand in that, boo. So I say...have at it!"- Ankensen Mie.

      That's why so many angry white men were up in arms over the Cheerios commercial which depicts a charming biracial girl and interracial family. Society loves to scapegoat Black women for opposing IRs but the biggest opposers have been white men but they don't highlight them the way they do with us.

      Yes, white women have been IR dating/marrying/procreating with MOC for the last 40 years. I, for one, don't care either because they're having children of color.

      White men aren't going to change so because the ideology of whiteness is much stronger and so is white privilege. They can get mad all they want like Richard Cohen, The Tea Party, most white liberals, and Bob Dumas, because the demographics of America is changing and some white women aren't tolerating his bs anymore.

      They're closed minded when it comes to Black women. Check out this post from Racism Review:


      S. B.

    2. Yep..racists white men knows everything about Black women,but rarely or never had any interaction with Black women...lol.

      Like most of us been saying about this issue, the reason that some White bigots are angry with Black women is that they're snow White society is slowly coming to an end and because they cannot control Black women.

      Just recently, as mentioned by Mary, that scum of the earth Anthony Cumia said some very racist things about a black woman because he took some pictures of her without her permission. Unfortunately ,it's wasn't Ant's first time spewing hate. He also talked about wanting to punch and rape Condoleeza Rice and Laura Bush. The man is not only racist but he's a very sick individual. He makes Rush Limbaugh look like he has some sense.

      along with Anthony spewing hatred, some state trooper in L.A. repeatedly punched a Black woman on the road ( He claimed that he was " restraining" her. After looking at the recording, you tell me if that was restraining?) and another Black woman was spat on in GA by an off duty cop. right now he's on leave without pay. Wow! these White guys are really on a roll to show their anger towards Black women and the nerve of Anthony referring to the woman he photographed and other Blacks as animals. Take one to supposedly know one.

      No matter what they do, they should know by know that Black folks aren't going to bow down. I mean, won't they take a hint. We've been spat on, sprayed on, ran over and died for our rights and we're still standing and continue to. The game is getting lame. I rather be on David So's side than theirs.

    3. M,

      Like I said, they're so close-minded and racist toward Black women that they don't see us as human beings. The thread at Racism Review about white male hostility toward Black women is on the mark. I responded to the post and here come the derailers, the racists, and the bigots came out the woodwork to attack Black women on the thread.

      For Brittany Slatton's full work, please check it out at:


      That's the real deal. You're right, racist wm such as Cumia, the police officers who abuse the LA Black woman, Ersula Ore, etc., Richard Cohen, that wierd guy who broadcast his racist politics and dating, John Mayer, Rush Limbaugh, Scott Baio, any white politician, Don Imus, etc., are afraid of Black women and see us as more threatening than any other demographic because the country is changing and they cannot stand it so they take it out on us.

      What are your thoughts?


    4. Speaking of racist bigot Richard Cohen, I have a blog post of mine I'd like to link.
      Like many of those angry white males, Mr. Cohen can't stand Black women and men and felt free to disrespect the Mayor of NYC and his family, especially Chirlane McCray. He felt entitled as a privileged white male to say anything he liked about Black women and not get punished.

      When Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a hateful word, women across America organized to get advertisers not to advertise on Rush Limbaugh's channel. How come they didn't come to the First Lady's aid, who is the main target of Limbaugh's ire. It's because the larger society permits the disrespecting of Black women without consequence.


      An excellent post by Tressie Mc:



  9. "I'mma have a kid and raise that kid to fuck yo kid. I'mma have yo front po'ch lookin' like the damn United Nations."

    This mofo just won the Internet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    And yes. Have at it, beetches. No one gives two hard fucks about who or what y'all want. You want a brotha, go get one. You want an Asian man, go get one. You want a Native American man, go get one. It doesn't change the reality that NOT ALL OF THEM WANT YOU.

    There endeth my portion of the discussion.

  10. Y'all:

    "...But I also realize that questioning me about interracial dating is a covert way of asking about more salient issues. It is often a euphemism for issues caused by white supremacy, patriarchy, Eurocentric beauty standards, and colorism. Instead of directly talking about these issues we veil the discussion by talking about interracial dating. Instead of talking about the impact that Eurocentric beauty standards have on all of us and how that leads to the devaluation of Black womanhood I am asked about how I feel whenever I see a random Black man with a non-Black woman. The latter makes me feel nothing as I don't believe it's my responsibility to police anybody's dating decisions. However, the former is a real problem. (Bow to the Mistress)


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