Why I'm Justified

I've been meaning to sit down and write this post, but I got caught up in the marvelously sexy, dark, and malevolently murderous world of Macallan and Madalyne Zhou.  And Ankh kinda started it.  But it's time to pause for the cause.

A little while ago, I got hit up on social media by someone who wanted to get to know me.  I was comfortable with being an online pal, as we live on two separate continents, and this was established by me immediately.  But for whatever reason, this person jumped in with both feet and wanted to start exchanging information, as in pictures.   Somebody had defined notions of beauty, and s/he "needed" to know what I looked like in order to "assign values."  In order to be an online buddy.

*snort*  Think about that for a second.  

More on the algebra fuckshit in a moment.

I sent my avatar picture.  There are many reasons why I don't reveal my countenance.  Many reasons.  MANY REASONS. This individual wasn't satisfied with what I chose to send, nor with the explanation I provided and told me, “Don't treat me like someone from your past."

What I couldn't understand was why it was so important to know what I looked like when 1. We lived in two separate hemispheres, and 2. Were never going to meet.  (The objective, as far as I was concerned, was to be a social media buddy)  The individual claimed s/he was "picky and judgmental" and referenced the aforementioned algebra fuckshit.

Think about that for a moment.  Let that marinate.  Someone who was all up in my mentions and pushing up on me couldn't respect the boundary put up, so you all know where this was going to lead—nowhere—and eventually end; quick, fast, and in a hurry.  As far as I’m concerned, such behavior is indicative of someone operating in their fresh 20s, with little to no tact, and for damn sure harboring an inability to respect personal boundaries.  Time for this bullshit Amaya doesn't have.

Upon seeing the words "picky and judgmental" coupled along with "assign(ing) values [to beauty]," I knew that I was dealing with someone who was completely and utterly not even in my stratosphere of grown ass woman-ness.  I was dealing with someone who wanted a woman (again, knowing the facts, why???) with a Western standard of beauty; a woman with a "perfect" face and body.  I was dealing with someone who was so superciliously superficial that it was freaking hilarious.  Hence this post.  Laugh with me, if you will.

I challenged that response and questioned their personhood, and then cleared all the bullshit out of the motherfucking room by describing myself in all my gloriously utter fabulousness.

S/he couldn’t handle the 3D realness and I like to think s/he ran screaming from the room.

After that, I didn't hear from that person anymore, and thank God for small favors.  My reasons for not showing my face were once again validated, and as always, completely justified.  You have to beware of fuckninjas who come out of the gate demanding to know what you look like when it shouldn't even matter; especially if it’s for an online friendship.  What’s the point?  As far as I'm concerned, that is a red flag and I knew immediately that the time we spent messaging back and forth was going to be blessedly short.  But you have to give some people enough rope to hang themselves and watch in amusement as they do this very thing.

Don't treat me like someone from your past.  How can I not, when you act the same way?  Save that eau de garbage for a youngling who doesn’t know any better.

I do want to acknowledge that people should avoid openly using the words "picky and judgmental" when they themselves don't fall under the same standard of beauty they want potential mates to have.  That's like wanting a Beyonce when your ass looks like Biggie Smalls, may he RIP (Biggie was not attractive and he knew it).  It's like wanting a 10 when you're a 0.01. 

I admire anyone who sets high goals, but you also got to know when you're full of shit.


  1. That's like wanting a Beyonce when your ass looks like Biggie Smalls.-hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Seriously though. If you want a FRIEND why should their looks matter? That is just crazy to me.

    1. Lol.! isn't that the truth? the nerve of some people...wanting something for nothing.

  2. Amen..and another Amen!

    You're definitely justified in your thoughts. I mean, if a guy is rushing to find out what you look like, he/she needed to be dropped. To me, they're not looking/thinking about your inner soul. I'm quite sure that there are many women who want men to look good but it doesn't always work out that way. You're right about one thing, Like you just said..if you ( the person) don't want junk, why would you?

    The older one gets, the more they're looking for substance. That is exactly what I would be looking for if I was looking for a good guy. The persons thoughts remind me of the days when, I wanted a " good" person..my thoughts we're extremely juvenile and abstract and I ended up paying for it later,but I've learned some valuable lessons from those experiences..experiences that I don't want to repeat again.. What you said reminds me of what a minister said about people wanting good men and how one man wanted his wife to be this and that and how he wasn't all together himself. At the end he end up saying the very same thing you said to this person "If you want your spouse to be good, you also have to be the same". Some people forget that logic.

  3. What I couldn't understand was why it was so important to know what I looked like when 1. We lived in two separate hemispheres, and 2. Were never going to meet. (The objective, as far as I was concerned, was to be a social media buddy)

    It appears s/he had other plans.


This blog is strictly moderated. Everyone is now able to comment again, however, all Anonymous posts will be immediately deleted. Comments on posts more than 30 days old are generally dismissed, so try to stay current with the conversations.