This was a bad idea. The kidnapping was a bad idea. The "Helen of Troy" theme has officially overstayed its welcome, and now Scandal has no hope ever getting back to what it could have been. And because the nature of the show has changed, the title doesn't really make any sense anymore. I mean, if Fitz was our president and we found out just a tenth of the drama going on behind the scenes, a "scandal" would be not only be the understatement of the century, but the very least of all our problems.
Last week ended with Liv getting herself auctioned off when she could have just stayed put and gotten rescued. And the reason Liv is being auctioned off is that she got kidnapped. And the reason she got kidnapped was that despite having a world-class terrorist for a mother, and covert ops god for a father, Liv couldn't fend off an attacker whom Quinn friggin' Perkins would've taken out in 30 seconds flat.
And since I have No Desire Whatsoever to dwell on this epic farce of a storyline, I'mma just cut to the chase: the Iranians win the bid by offering over a billion dollars in cold hard cash, and now instead of being excited about next week's episode, viewers are
*blink* Why did we even bother?
And move on they need to because people are getting boring. We have made no progress with Michaela Pratt's character, and she was one of two main reasons I wanted to watch this show. Wes Gibbins, a.k.a. Kid Wait-List, has moved on from his Rebecca obsession now that she's his unemployed girlfriend no longer on trial for murder (read: no longer a damsel in distress). His new obsession is about what happened to the guy who lived in his apartment before him...like we give a shit. Sure, Rebecca called the cops on the dude and he was never seen or heard from again, but I reiterate...we don't give a shit.
Connor seems to be having a nervous breakdown every week now and it's particularly irritating to see this fierce, sensual, unapologetic character go down like this. I'd rather watch him emotionally - or physically - spar with with Oliver (portrayed by the glorious Conrad Ricamora) over their relationship and Connor's supposed drug problems. And speaking of beautiful Asian men, can Laurel please get back to Arjun Gupta's magnificent self? This we're-all-starting-to-panic holding pattern comes across as mere filler, and I'm ready for something to happen, damn it.
Detective Nate Lahey getting arrested doesn't count. We already know it's a setup and he's not going to go down for this. Though...I was impressed by how relaxed the Ice Princess Michaela was about it; she coolly watched an innocent man being hauled off to jail, and when her classmates objected, she reminded that Annalise was just keeping her promise to protect them - Zero Fucks Given.
Tongues are wagging across the web about how the show ended with Annalise curled on her bed crying for mommy, but I'm not buying it. This is a woman who helps killers and drug dealers go free all day, every day. She's finally free of her ball of shit husband, and she's got wealthy mob bosses hitting on her (spitting lines like "Chocolate and Italian wine pair well together"). I call bullshit. This is a fake-out to keep us interested, and it's not a very good one.