3.27.2015

Black Girls' Night Out: Cookie Lyon #Empire


I know this is overdue, but a pygmy's been really tired lately, so I'm going to borrow the top ten craziest moments from the finale (as listed by the Hollywood Reporter) and provide my own commentary.

10. Lucious kicks Cookie out of Empire

He most certainly did. Porsha makes a slip and Lucious finds out Cookie went a long weekend with Malcolm. He rescinds her access pass and throws her out promptly.

Of course, he realizes he's overreacting and lets her back in.

9. Hakeem hurls insults at Lucious & drops the mic

Yes, he did. While freestyling for Snoop Dogg, Hakeem goes in on his dad, threatens to leave Empire and take his "bitch" - meaning Anika.

8. Jamal & Lucious perform a duet



7. Lucious doesn’t have ALS

I figured this might happen; Lucious couldn't be the full-on bastard he needs to be if he's actually dying; the expiration date would make him ambivalent and lacking in conviction.  He needs to know that he ain't dead yet, and that he ain't gonna die soon.  And the maniacal laugh Terrence Howard gives when his character fully realizes he ain't gonna die...*shivers*.  Chilling, y'all.

6. HAKEEM & ANIKA HAVE SEX

Can we please have a sit-down with Hakeem and chat with him about his very unhealthy sexual obsession with mother figures?  First Camilla, now Anika - there's not enough EWWW in the world.

Lucious actually catches them and, like...they just keep going!!!

5. Lucious hands over Empire to Jamal

I was a little surprised by this.  Don't get me wrong, he made the right choice, but I can't help wondering what the catch is.  Lucious knows Andre and Hakeem aren't just going to sit back and take it.  I think now that he knows he ain't doing soon, he's going to let his kids fall upon himself while he starts fresh somewhere else.

4. Cookie & Anika’s catfight


Along with Hakeem and Andre, these two later team up to stage a hostile takeover of Empire.

3. Cookie tries to kill Lucious

Lucious's sedatives cause him to hallucinate and talk in his sleep, causing him to reveal he killed Cookie's cousin. Cookie reacts much like the way she did when she thought a hitman was out to get her; she goes for the kill. She picks up a pillow and starts to smother Lucious but stops when a reflex causes him to grab her arm. Nevertheless, the cameras in his bedroom capture everything, causing him to throw her out of Empire again.

2. Rhonda kills Vernon

Did NOT see that coming. But Andre and Vernon get into a fight and Rhonda comes to her husband's rescue. After bashing Vernon upside th head, she reveals she's pregnant. They don't call the police or anything, mind you. They just clean up and go on with their lives.

1. LUCIOUS IS ARRESTED

Apparently, Vernon told the Feds about Lucious's murdering ways. The final moments of the finale are great because we get to see his relatives moving on with their lives.  Jamal gets his daddy's executive office and breaks in the desk with his new boyfriend.  Cookie gets the mansion, having driven out both Lucious and Anika.  And the Feds are screwed because Vernon was their star witness.

Meanwhile, Lucious stands in jail, plotting revenge.

4 comments:

  1. I just got my copy and am about to binge-watch this shit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Two hours of suspense and I'm still trying to get over this hangover of it being off the air for a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When the seasons come back, some folks are going to have to take over some of this writing for me. I am exhausted.

      Delete

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