7.10.2016

Actually...We Wouldn't Care



I'm getting old and less patient, so I'll just shuck right down to the cob: 1) We built the Black Girls Club because we could, and 2) if a White Girls Club came out tomorrow...we really wouldn't give a shit.

I once said that being a Black woman is like being a member of an exclusive club you never actually chose to sign up for.  This part's particularly important because I don't think people fully grasp the meaning of "the Black Girls Club."  Yes, it's just what it says on the tin.  It's also so much more.

People resent Black women so much because they either can't be us, or can't have us.

Some Becky once made a similar complaint to the one above a few weeks back (we get complaints like these daily now, so they're all the same to me).  A sistah who was new to the site promptly replied, "Why is a White girl commenting on the Black Girls Club?"  As with the club's name, yes...her question was fairly straightforward.  But as with the club's name, there was so much more to her question.  What she was really asking was, Why are White people constantly obsessed with what Black people - especially Black women - do?

After all, Black women aren't obsessed with you.  In fact, unless you're causing harm to us in some way (cultural appropriation, workplace discrimination, abusing our kids, killing our people, overall racism), Black women are less likely than ever before to acknowledge that you even exist.

We don't want to be you.  We don't want to look like you.  If anything, you're the ones always trying to copy our looks and our culture - that's why so many of you keep tabs on us in the first place.  We're not in awe of you, we're not curious about your bodies, and we don't envy your slowly but steadily diminishing White privilege.  When it comes down to what really bothers you about our blogs and pages and feeds, it's the cold hard fact that, for the most part, we're ignoring you

So by all means, set up your White Girls Club.  Go talk there instead of here.  White Girls Club, Black Girls Club...both will end up focusing on Black women anyway, so who cares?

14 comments:

  1. You bettern me. I wouldn't have even acknowledged that bitch.

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    1. My point exactly. If one of our own hadn't screen capped, I would've just ignored her and moved on.

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  2. I've learned to open my " backdoor"( not responding) and throwing them out of my social media life a long time ago. Like you, my patience grew impatient and intolerant of their foolishness. I just see it as Becky's and her society's nearly failing 300+ years of attempts of bring Black people down. I'm not
    fooling with them.

    " We don't want to be you. We don't want to look like you."

    Oh god no! I have never wanted to look nothing like them whatsoever! I realized that when my folks did the Paper Bag test and past it when I fawned over my Christie doll( Black Barbie) more than my White one,when I went to Night Watch and recently a Juneteenth festival being paying homage to them celebrating not only their independence day ( Far as I'm concerned, Juneteenth is my true Holiday) from slavery and celebrating the beauty of my culture.

    Recently,I went to a predominantly Black mall in another part of town to eat. As I was eating..there were people different skin colors, body types and very diverse types of hairstyles.Everybody was doing things,whether they were going to the movies, shopping,eating,women getting made over ..or just hanging out.Those patrons..whether female or male..looked like walking pieces of art. It was a beautiful sight to see.

    A week or two ago, Kyrie Irving ( Cleveland Cavaliers) came under fire for having a yachtful of White women on it. On one of the articles it said the he was on the boat with some " hot " women like this publication was insinuating that Black women wished they could look like/be these women.

    Kyrie may have thought that these women was hot stuff but I didn't. With the exception of hair colors ,the women looked or.din.nary..no butt,breasts,shapes and no skin colors..not even an Italian olive complexion.They also didn't have any hair styles and types. Everybody looked alike on that boat.

    I could care less who Kyrie dates but for that tabloid publication, just because a person have pale skin and long doesn't automatically make them pretty I embrace beauty from all angles and personalities. Sorry, I don't want to live in a society where everybody look and act the same.

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    1. I used to feel the same way about Juneteenth until my cousin pointed something out. Its a holiday about being screwed over.

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    2. When it comes to Nineteenth,I'm only celebrating the cultural/ symbolic aspects of it..which is the freedom of slaves being freed in Texas and the US.I'm celebrating it like people would with Ramadan,Carnivale or dawali..its about culture, community and people with me.



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  3. Truth. I'm pale-skinned, and I follow TBGC mostly because you post stuff I want to read. But also because I love seeing images of black women. I've made peace with my translucent skin and my hair (glorious compared to white people's hair - I'm Jewish - but paltry compared to all the natural black hair I've seen), because I want to be me, not just a wannabe. But I understand the envy because damn, black women are beautiful in all your diversity. Honestly, all this absurd prejudice probably started because white people couldn't handle how unabashedly gorgeous you are, so they tried to beat you down. Too bad for them - seems like it takes more than centuries of oppression to squish y'all :) stay amazing, I'll just keep admiring you from over here and getting into ridiculous Internet arguments on your behalf

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    1. S.I.

      Don't feel bad about who you are.Even though being Jewish is religious ,from my neighbors I've also learned that it's cultural.. which is great and fascinating to me.There is a lot of beauty in yours also in another way. Not saying it just to say it but it is.

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    2. Aw, thank you. I appreciate that. I'm not actually religious at all, but Judaism is also an ethnicity! Everyone of Jewish decent is technically Middle Eastern. Which is why I never look like other pale people, especially in Canada. Every person is beautiful, though. Even if white people all seem to want to 'volumize' their hair haha I get such funny looks when I mention that I get my hair thinned

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  4. TheSecretNinja2001July 12, 2016 at 1:06 AM

    LOL. Becky with the split ends really tried it though.

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  5. Lol...and failed miserably. She should have hung it up while sgechad a chance.

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  6. This is the only argument white people have. They really need a new playbook.

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  7. "both will end up focusing on Black women anyway, so who cares?"

    *gigglesnort*

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  8. This blog is needed. The black girls club is needed. You know, I sometimes feel like I shouldn't comment much here because while I'm black (afro-caribbean) and a girl, I'm not American. So that's part of the reason why these days I've been posting less often. But I do like this place. It's safe for us and I only know one in my own language which is nearly as insightful though not focused on black women (their focus is black people).

    I'm thankful for this blog. A lot of needed conversations about the African diaspora issues started in Black America. Not all, and I'm not talking about Africans in Africa (who probably have their own movement) but the diaspora living in the West.

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