Dude, Just Stop Talking: MBJ and the Color of Milk

Y’all… *insert row of laughing/crying emojis* Real talk, tho…dude needs to stop talking.

So y’all’s MCM Michael B. Jordan got himself roasted proper in the Shade Room when it was revealed there were no sistas at his party in Italy. Then he decided to respond (second big mistake) and things just continued to deteriorate from there. And I will admit, it was an admittedly entertaining roast, nice an bloody. But what intrigued me the most were the reactions to the reaction; some people were perplexed that a man who’s never spoken ill about Black women was getting ruthlessly barbecued. There was the question of why anyone would care about his dating preferences and how they were none of the fans’ business.

To which I have to reply: dude brought this on himself.

Earlier I stated that responding to the roast was MBJ’s second big mistake. His first was ever bothering to bring up that he liked Black women, and that the craziest rumor he ever heard about himself was that he didn’t date sistas. It might have been okay if he’d only stated this once, but alas…casual attendees and active participants in the roast kept pointing out that celebrities who actually date/marry Black women never need to bring it up because they’re too busy actively pursuing with Black women.

Fashion tip for aspiring public figures: this is 2018. If you’re not actually interested in pursuing Black women, 1) that’s perfectly okay, but 2) never, ever, ever state that you are. It will not end well.

Whenever a public figure, be they actor, musician, vlogger, blogger, etc. feels the need to “declare” that they love Black women, our spider senses start tingling. We want to know what the angle is. Generally speaking, nobody makes these declarations about non-Black women, so what gives? Do you need votes? Do you have an album about to drop? Are you a non-Black man launching a career in R&B or hip hop? Are you a member of the Black Panther cast, probably instructed to promote pro-Blackness in all forms? What exactly do you want from us, boo?

For people wondering about Black women’s irritation/disappointment with Black male celebrities who say one thing and do another when it comes to us, THIS is the primary source. People—Black men included—are typically only nice to us when they want something. They want our support when the cops/racists in general are mean to them. They want us to fight for them if they become a bloody hashtag. They want us to clean up the mess when the politicians they elect screw up. They want our beauty, fashions, money and fandom…they want everything from us but just not us. And when we confront people about using us, we’re first told to be flattered that we’re needed. Since that doesn’t work (anymore), people then fall back on the classics, branding us as bitter, hostile, jealous, and my new personal favorite, selfish.

Let’s be clear: the overwhelming majority of Black women don’t care about who MBJ dates. We don’t care about who any public figure dates, really. Pandering to us (vastly different from marketing to us, mind you) annoys us. For one, it insults our intelligence and implies we’re desperate, that we’re so lonely and unloved we’ll hand over our hard-earned cash simply because a complete stranger whom most of us are never going to meet said they loved us. *insert eye roll emoji*

Meanwhile, we know what this is really about: Black male celebrities who prefer non-Black women can’t rely solely on non-Black female fandom.

Sure, the Beckians might be head over heels for someone like MBJ…until the next time Jason Momoa takes his shirt off. Or until the next time Kit Harington decides to grow a beard and wield a man bun. Or until the next time Tom Hiddleston shows up to a convention in full cosplay mode. They’ll fawn all over a Black male actor until Grant Gustin, or Theo James, or Henry Cavill, or Benedict Cumberbatch, or literally any of the infamous Chrises comes along. They’ll gladly stream a Black male artist's songs until some mediocre White boy rando steps forward and performs the same kind of music. Then the Beckians will be out on the internet in full force talmbout how it all sounds so much better in mayonnaise.

And when that happens, the burden falls to Black women to stay loyal, be supportive, and keep their careers afloat—no thank you.

So I propose we keep things simple: one, stop talking. Modern celebs have GOT to learn to shut up and not feel compelled to tell us absolutely everything about themselves. Two, don't pander to Black women. Just present your product or service or whatever it is you're selling and then...stop talking. Three, if your target audience isn't Black women, find a way to get them to support you and then...stop talking. To us.


  1. " Modern celebs have GOT to learn to shut up and not feel compelled to tell us absolutely everything about themselves." -People should take a page from Beyonce. She throws out a picture every now and then. That's it. She doesn't explain anything. She ignores it.

    Sadly everyone panders to black women when they want something. And even worse a lot of black women buy into it time and time again.

    People in general get too involved into the lives of celebrities. I mean unless these people aren't paying you, then why get all bent out of shape.

  2. When Michael said that he does date Black women, he even went as far bringing him mom into the sway trying to convince his fans that he loves Black women.

    For me, I could care less who Michael dates/ marry but anytime I hear...in this case..him say that he likes Black women, I dont buy it. It kind of reminds me when a White person getting caught in a racist act and claim that
    " My friend is Black".It would be kind of hard for me to believe that when you dont see them with these i invisible people or they will do a Roy Moore number saying that their Jewish lawyer was their best friend when he was actually Doug Moore best friend.

    I guess old age must me catching up with me because my frame of thought isnt the same when it comes to IR dating/ marriage.While I have no problems with people being involved in one, these days, it just seem that people are doing it for escapism ..they dont want to deal with the reality of life.

    Just last week , I woke up to a African American church program and the topic of discussion was about marriage.One of the couple on the panel was a Black man and his White wife.The husband went on to discuss their prosperity and adversities of their marriage.At the end, the message that I got from them was that youre going to go through some storms no matter who you were but at the end if you dont give up on your marriage you will be fine.

    I often say this: if that Black man dont want you because of stereotypes, there is something wrong with him to downgrade his own women like that.Black women should also consider themselves as lucky if they dont want you because there is someone of sun
    substance for you who will see you as a princess. Lastly, something my father taught me with his own regrets about taking the easy way out: its not always the best way out.He's mad at himself for leaving out while at the same time realizing the current family he has now isnt there( other than my stepmom) for him.

    If Michael B Jordan want a White woman, let him go for it.Hopefully, he'll date/ marry them for love but in case he isnt, he'll see ..like my dad is doing..the easy way isnt always the greatest way to take.

    1. I don't see any problem with IR dating/marriage. I believe that it along with marrying within your own race should be based on the same things, love, respect for each other, and the same goals. If you are getting married for any other reason than that is just plain wrong.

      Now I gather from your post that you mean taking the easy way out as divorce? If I am wrong please correct me. If that is what you meant I don't see it as taking the easy way out. I don't believe in staying in a bad situation just to stay in a bad situation. No one wins and everybody suffers.

      If you mean (once again please correct me if I'm wrong) that marrying out is the easy way out. How? Marriage is hard no matter WHO you marry. It's not easy no matter WHO you marry.

      I don't see it as a way to escape from the reality of life. Honestly I am confused by it. If you want to get married and someone of your own race doesn't want to marry you, then what are you supposed to do? Stay single? Which sadly is a reality of life for black women who don't want to marry IR.

      My advice is first people need to stop worrying about what celebrities are doing. They don't know you exist. They need your money, that's it. Second, make sure you are in a good space BEFORE looking for someone to date/marry. Its not their job to fix you. Next make sure you live the best life for YOU. What other people think, do are not your concern. The majority of the time their only interest is making sure you are as miserable as them.



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